It's strange that I feel like blogging about this subject but it's a subject we all have to deal with one way or another and it effects us all differently at certain points of our lives. I went through a huge fear of death as a kid around the time my aunt was killed just yards from where I lived in Seven Fields and it was very distressing. Now I make lots of jokes but if there is someone out there that reads this and it just makes them feel even an ounce better, I consider it a win in my column!
I think the general hope when our time comes is to go in our sleep peacefully and painlessly and that is totally understandable. Some people even like me, would even prefer to eventually see it coming like a cancer or something. Odd yes, but the fact is we'd like to know and that way prepare and I was on this myself but I have been so spiritual lately that I have had a change of heart and I really do have a way I hope I pass onto the next phase of existence.
I'm by no way a hero, yet I want to write characters based off myself as a hero. Maybe I have a god complex, maybe I love myself just a little bit too much? Probably, but the point is in real life, chances are I will never be a real hero. Maybe, but I do not plan on becoming a paramedic, a firefighter, a police officer, ect.. the real heroes of our world. Notice how I did not put superhero in there, because no one can pass on that if given the chance am I right? You'll never catch me in tights though.. they may be great for agility, and aerodynamics, but they are little suffocating of the good parts. If Clark Kent were actually real I'd bet he'd be icing his balls after a hard day of fighting Lex, I'm just saying.
Anywho, how do I want to die when my time comes. I want to take on death like jumping into that really cold lake. I don't want to slowly dip my foot in, and creep into up to my chest, and then just go under. No I want to run straight at it, like running into an explosion. I want to be here one second, gone the next. I would consider it a fail if I didn't run full force into the white pearly gates without stopping. That's right, I am so damn clumsy that the first I do on the otherside is walk into something, it just sounds right doesn't it?
How can I talk so causually about this thing? I don't know. I truly have nothing to be afraid of in death anymore. Something inside of me knows that this world cannot and is not the only thing out there. This is why I feel sorry for Athiests, not anger and hostility. How must it feel to truly believe this life, of up to 100 years only, is it. That beyond death lies nothing but a black abyss? I do believe its my faith in God that helps me overcome this fear but too many things have happened in my life that cannot be blind luck. Too many things have woven themselves together just so perfectly that everything I've done and everywhere I will be going and doing next will come together. They say faith changes you, well it certainly does. Now enough seriousness, this is weird. I need to go make fun of something before I vomit, bye
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